As 2022 comes to a close…

The last time I wrote in this was the start of the new decade…a lot has happened in life since then. Too much to probably go into in one post and I really do intend on writing in this more…

This journal has always been a place that I wander back to when I need to express my thoughts…everything going on in my head that eventually needs to come out or be collected in one place…I always come here.

I received a promotion at work, which is great, but it came with a lot of stress and additional responsibilities – as all promotions typically do…but it’s been a lot to handle. I’m slowly getting back to where I need to be work wise but it’s been an uphill battle nearly every step of the way.

Healthwise, I could be better. In the start of 2022 I began dealing with an ongoing issue connected to uterine fibroids that will most likely require surgery…but is being controlled as much as possible for the time being. Additionally, they found I was deficient in both Vitamin B12 and D3 so I’m taking injections and a weekly pill for both of those to try and get my levels back to where they should be. In the second half of 2022, my appetite severely decreased….whether it’s related to stress, or the fibroids is really anybody’s guess at the moment.

Lifewise…in 2023 everything will change and the path I saw my life on 5-10 years ago will be gone. I’ll be starting a new chapter, hell, maybe even a whole new book. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time. Sad that one is ending, but ti’s time to look towards the future and what else life has in store for me.


The start of a new decade…

This past decade has been huge for me. Every aspect of my life has changed in the paste decade – except that my parents are still my parents and of course I still have Sydney.

In 2009, I had just moved back to New York from California a few months before the new year, I was still trying to find a job – though would soon be hired by Walmart. In the beginning of 2009, I lost my cat Sacha to a veterinary mistake and was pretty broken for a while. I started working at Walmart – changed apartments in February, tried to make ends meet – sometimes failed – sometimes it was good. My best friend got married and I was honored to be her Maid if Honor! I worked my first Black Friday at Walmart (back when the sales started at 6am on Friday) and my first Christmas Eve (when they closed at 6).

2010 marked the beginning of the end of my relationship – we went from engaged to not engaged and looking back now that was probably the beginning of the end. I didn’t end up moving again – for the first time since 2006! I did however visit my step mom and dad in North Carolina for the first time. I met their amazing neighbors, and they took me on lots of sight seeing adventures of the area. Towards the end of 2010 my step mother – my second mother really since Debbie had been in my life since I was young, lost her fight with Breast Cancer. Other than my grandparents this has still been one of the biggest losses that I’ve gone through. I still think and miss her every day. We didn’t always get along but what parent does – that’s part of what makes them a parent.

2011 was a hard year – I went through a big break up, moved back home – helped him move into a new apartment…started a new relationship, started working overnights at Walmart while also working at the library – while that didn’t last long I think I went a solid couple months with no days off. I went to Chicago for the first time and had a blast! Deep Dish Pizza at Gino’s East and explored the aquarium and the planetarium. Also went to Niagara Falls as an adult for the first time! By October it was about time for another break up and honestly I think I mourned the first and the 2nd break up at the same time. The upside to the break up however was a lost weight – which put me into a new frame of mind for 2012! At the end of 2011 I went on probably my first real normal dating experience since high school. As the New Year was being rung in – I was on a flight to North Carolina to see my dad.

2012 was an amazing year – I flew from North Carolina to Boston to meet a group of great guy friends and adventures throughout Saugus and Boston ensued. I shot my shot and asked J out. He said yes! The next year was a lot of traveling to Massachusetts, and back. I drove to Massachusetts by myself in the first ever road trip! Was also pulled over for the first time – scary! No ticket though. I also started going to the gym regularly and lost about 50 pounds. This year I can say I was truly happy!

2013 was a big year of change! I interviewed three times – once for Department if Social Services, once for the Sheriffs Office and once for a promotion at Walmart. They didn’t give me the promotion but they did make me full time! I got the job at DSS but turned it down – and then I got the Job at the Sheriff’s! I tearfully said goodbye to the people that had become my family at Walmart and went into the brave new world of the County!

In 2014, J moved to NY and into an apartment with me! That took some adjusting! I continued working at the Sheriffs but I did get to go to Albany for training twice! Became friends with my coworkers at the Sheriffs! Was able to move Sydney into my apartment ❤️.

2015 was a lot of the same as 2014 except on Christmas Eve J and I got engaged! In one of the happiest moments of my life, he had hidden the ring in the Christmas Tree and after spending the evening at my mothers….we came home and I found it in the tree.

2016 marked the year I left the Sheriff’s office and began working for the School District…another huge change! We also began the tedious and stressful process of buying a house and planning a wedding! In the Fall of 2016 I traveled to Iceland with my mom.

In the first few days of 2017, we closed on our new house and closed tiniest the wedding planning. We also added Mac, Fiona and Rootie to our family household. Snow moved to New York! In September we were married and went to Iceland just the two of us for our honeymoon.

2018 my stresses continued. I also realized that conceiving might be a challenge for me. My father fought cancer – and won! We had a well installed – one of the biggest struggles we went through this year other than my own anxiety was not having a reliable source of water from June through October. I also was able to ween myself off of my anxiety medications in 2018! I received a promotion at work as well. There were a lot of stressors but also a lot of good things that happened.

2019 – the final year in the decade. This has been a tough year too. My promotion was changed from contingent to permanent (yay!) and some of the stressors that followed me from 2018 continued. On a positive note, I was in two weddings this year! J and I and his family also went to Universal Studios in Florida and got to enjoy some much needed time off.

As this year comes to a close I think it’s important that I look at where I started and where I’m ending. It’s been a crazy decade – I started having just moved back home from California, and I’m ending in my own home. I’ve made countless new friends and have drifted away from others. While I’ve felt loss, I’ve also seen new life born into this world! Nephews and GodChildren – I’ve had the honor of being able to watch my friends kids grow and I can only continue to hope that somebody I’ll have the chance to experience that for myself. While I’m not yet where I wanted to be at this point in my life I have to acknowledge that I have come so far from where I was 10 years ago. I’ve grown as a person – I’ve done things I never through I could and I can only hope in the next ten years I’ll be able to co to he growing!

There have been some down moments in the past ten years…and while they can be used as learning experiences, I don’t want to focus on them – the positives have been truly amazing and I’m looking forward to what the next decade has I store for me.




Meet me in the woods…

” I took a little journey to the unknown
And I come back changed, I can feel it in my bones
I fucked with the forces that our eyes can’t see
Now the darkness got a hold on me
Holy darkness got a hold on me “

– Lord Huron (Meet me in the Woods)

As Summer begins in Upstate, I can feel an electric charge in the air. The rains some and the wind whispers time for change as they take leave. The Summer Solstice came and went and while I meant to celebrate it in some way – the day passed by without any kind of fan fair.

No bonfires yet this summer, although I always associate those more with Fall. Summers are for water, and fruit bowls and lemonade. Music is making it’s way back into my life, specifically in the form of the Lumineers, X Ambassadors, Lord Huron and The Revivalists.

Part of me feels like life is moving all around me and I’m sitting in the middle, or maybe even in the background observing it. I don’t feel depressed any more – I’m actually pretty happy! But life is just moving around me and I’m standing still. I’m not sure what to make of it so I guess I’ll continue watching for now.

Anyway, that’s enough non-nonsensical talk for now. Day ???. Post 2.


Oneida Lake at Sunset
Life · Self-reflection · Uncategorized

November 2018

When I was in high school, I wrote nearly every day in my LiveJournal.  Sure, I might have changed accounts over the years but even now I can go back to that original journal and all the memories come flooding back – good and bad.

Back then, every post title was a line from a song I was listening to.  I still remember my favorite line from just about any song.  It was by the Ataris, called Takeoffs and Landings.

“The runway lights are the deepest blue like the colors of your eyes…”

That song to this day is still one of my favorite songs.

But every time I hear it, I’m sucked into looking at all of those journal entries and it takes me back to a really tough part of my life.   Bittersweet memories mixed with how naive I was.

There are times that I wish I could reach back and comment to old Bess.  “It gets better – you don’t have a limit of 5 boyfriends max for your life.”  or “This too shall pass” or probably the most important: “In all things, be kind” and to not be such a depressed ball of fluff.

In any case, I’m trying to get back into writing more than only writing with a purpose.

Day 1.  Post 1. Done.

I guess when it comes down to it
Being Grown Up – Isn’t half as fun as growing Up
These are the best days of our lives

The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
and eventually – you’ll finally get it right.



Well, hello there!

Lots of changes since I last wrote – I’m not even sure where to start so I’m just going to jump in!

On Christmas Eve 2015 – J proposed to me by hiding a tiny engagement ring set box in our Christmas tree. We originally were aiming to get married in September 2016 – however, as it does – life got in the way. We instead set a date for September 16, 2017 and began making the wedding planning process.

What a process. Because going to school, planning a wedding and working full time wasn’t enough – in August 2016 we put an offer on our first house! After what I can only describe as the most complicated and stressful experience of my life (including any event related to the wedding) we closed on our home in January 2017. There’s been a fair share of complications with the house over the past year but we love it there.

On September 16, 2017 we came Mr. & Mrs. Glazer – while I haven’t officially changed my name anywhere – life has been too busy – I will be. That being said it’s been a struggle to decide to keep Lyon in some way – would I like to by Lyon Glazer? That being said, I’ve always disliked the idea of using a hyphen in my name – though I understand the concept and respect and even like other names hyphenated – I just don’t like it with mine.

On a side note, this new last name has altered the symmetry of my name and I haven’t quite come to terms with it yet. For all 31 years of my life so far – my first and last name have had 4 letters. Short – Crisp and sweet. Now I’ve got 2 extra letters at the end and it throws me off a bit.

We went to Iceland on our Honeymoon. I’d visited the country the previous year with my mom and knew it would be the perfect place to bring Jarred. Brisk weather, waterfalls and ocean winds no matter where you go, and amazing food. Not to mention the amazing history packed into a small but incredibly welcoming country.

I’m no longer working at the Sheriff’s Office. I miss it – fond memories of my first non-retail/food service job! I miss the office itself – and how mismatched all the rooms were – even the cash register that was older than dirt. I miss the coworkers – the parties – even the public. But life moves forward and we all march on behind it. I work in the finance department of the city School District now. It’s a quiet office – which took some getting used to, but I like it here too. It’s nice to see everything from the other point of few – at the Sheriff’s Office I think technically I worked more along the Accounts Receivables line of work, while at the School District I work in Payables so it’s nice to have a grasp on both ends of a system.

I’ve taken a break from school for a while and it’s about time I get back into it – given my current line of work I’ve been strongly thinking of changing my major to have something to do with accounting or finance rather than English. that being said – I love my English major and don’t really want to let it go.

Lots of other developments in life as well – but I’ll save those for another post!



P.S. Wedding Photos taken by Amanda Petrie – amazing photographer!

Self-reflection · Work



It’s been such a long time since I have been anything that could be described as active on this blog.

I debated not renewing my subscription because honestly, I’ve been in a funk. A big funk.

So here’s the deal:

I’m no longer an overnight cashier – I have had a complete job overhaul. I am now working 9-5 Monday through Friday at the local Sheriff’s office. It’s been such a huge change that I got completely knocked off my healthy track, and my fit routine. The lack of moving throughout the day also had aided in a bit of weight gain that’s been depressing to say the least.

Back in the saddle though! I’m determined to re-lose the weight and continue on the right track. I just need to workout how to go about it and make adjustments to my eating habits. Avoiding the cookies and breakfast pizza at work wouldn’t hurt either. Cookies, how I love thee.

I’ve started up classes at college again. Well, not at college. I’m enrolled full time at Southern New Hampshire University and about to start my third term. Majoring in Creative Writing and Literature. So far more writing than literature. I can’t wait for literature. Life gets a bit crazy working and studying full time but Southern New Hampshire University has a pretty amazing advising staff and makes classes really manageable. Not paid advertising I swear, just an impressive school and staff.

In February I moved into my own apartment with J. It’s been an adjustment – but one I really do love. There’s something comforting about living with your best friend and knowing there is always somebody who will go down the street and get you a pint of ice cream, watch the bachelor when you don’t feel good, and get you a glass of water every night before bed. He spoils me too much.

I’ll try to be a little more active now that I’ve broken through the major writers block and guilty feeling of being neglectful of this little blog.

I’ve been cooking more! Which is also probably a reason for weight gain. I’ve been reading more, though I seem to go through periods of binge reading. I’ll read a good five books in two weeks or less and then take a break from reading and get obsessed with something else like say….the nine seasons of Criminal Minds that were added to Netflix a month and a half ago. Clearly I haven’t been writing more, though I’ve gotten back into World of Warcrack…opps! World of Warcraft.

So far this fall, I have gone apple picking no less than…four…maybe five times and have plans to go at least twice more. I’m hoping to go to a pumpkin patch next weekend.

One thing I do really miss is all the walks I’d been able to take Sydney on out in the country. My new apartment in the village and I don’t see as many pretty views that don’t involve looking like a creeper and taking a picture of somebody’s house on my phone. Next weekend I’m participating in my first Virtual 5k the Pink Pumpkin Run for BOObies (I admit, I find too much humor in that particular joke).

For now though, I’ll get back to work and hopefully, be back soon!



Fall · Photography · Self-reflection · Summer

Last days of summer

I can’t believe it’s already the last day of summer! The past month and a half flew by! I’ve been so busy and now I’m horribly sick. Let’s see if I can sum up what I’ve been up to with some pictures:


Went to a wedding with my lovie, in New Hampshire.


Then worked about a week and a half without stopping.




And last weekend went to an Aaron Carter concert.

I’ve also been taking an English class to try and slowly complete my degree.

And tomorrow my favorite season begins! Back to the gym as well!

Cooking · reading · Summer

Heirloom tomatoes and Summer Reading

Now, we’re going to talk about a very serious subject now.

rustic tomato tart 005Heirloom tomatoes.  Seriously, my one true love – after cheese…and Pierogies…it’s becoming clear to me that I love food just a little too much.

Back to tomatoes.

I’m not a big fan of tomatoes in general unless they’re diced, cooked and in a chili or stew.

But Heirloom Tomatoes are different.

I love these babies raw, or in a salad, or baked in a galette or frittata.  There’s something about their fresh summery taste that I look forward to all year until I can taste it again.  If you’re into a spectacular tart I’d suggest you over to Recipe Girl’s Rustic Tomato and Zucchini Tart I subbed in Heirloom tomatoes and Havarti but this was divine.  The tart was unique and one of the first crusts I’ve ever made! Got my arm workout in that morning cutting the butter into the flour.  This morning I used the last of my little mini heirlooms in a summer frittata that also used up the rest of my zucchini.august 17 213

Word to the wise, When you make a frittata, don’t fuss around the try to make it healthy by using one egg and 8 egg whites.  Save that nonsense for a scramble.

I definitely want to try making that Galette crust with oat flour.

I’ve been reading a few books as well.  Between the Book Thief and The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane all my reading time seems to be filled up.  The Book Thief is nothing of what I initially thought it was, having never read any reviews or the back description I had no idea it was a World War II era novel.  From an incredibly unique point of view though.  The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane by Kelly Harns has personality and sass.  I haven’t read much of it, but I’m already in love with one character and I’m sure on my way to the same status with the second.

What Books are you reading these days? Any new author recommendations?

Cooking · Fitness · Summer

3-Bean Turkey Chili, another LifeFit Recipe

For the past few days I’ve been enjoying a lazy visit with my Dad in North Carolina, Raleigh area.  This however will be saved for another post, as it deserves more of a focus than I can give right now. I can say though, working overnights has a great potential for ruining vacations for you, I tend to pass out around 7 and wake up at 1 in the morning, when my boyfriend and dad are already asleep, and then I spend the next 5 hours or so puttering around the house, doing quiet chores that my dad might not think to do – dust, clean the shower, run the dishwasher and self clean the oven.  But more on all that later!

Before my vacation I wanted a little bit of a change for my lunches – no turkey muffins or burgers, I wanted to focus on salads since Blueberries and Strawberries are local and in season, and see about having a soup or chili.  So, quite fittingly I went to LiveFit recipes and found Jamie Eason’s 3-Bean Turkey Chili – this is protein and fiber packed and Sooooo sosososososo delicious.

turkey-chili-recipe_bThe only thing you might not have in your normal clean pantry is the brown sugar blend of Ideal which, I have yet to get, so I used a very very small amount of regular brown sugar.  I was able to find organic versions of all the canned vegetables in the recipe between shopping at Wegmans and Wal-mart.  Pro-tip: Walmart is starting to go Organic and Green, mine started carrying Organic Bananas recently, but their canned goods are pretty numerous now too.  Muir Glen tomato products also come with No Salt Added which is perfect for me. The only thing I didn’t find organic versions of these at Walmart was the Chilies and the TriBean Blend which I couldn’t exactly find at Wegmans either.  I found Chili beans and that had 3 different types of beans in it so I assume it’s just as good.  This for me made about 10 cups, or 10 servings, but I added Tomato Sauce because I accidentally bought that instead of diced tomatoes and ended up adding a can of Non-organic No Salt Added diced tomatoes that I had on hand anyway.  From the comments I read it normally cooks down to around 8-9 cups.

No pictures from me for this, I might have one to add later when I get home, but my phone broke last week and I haven’t been home to resync the new one to my computer.  Here’s the picture from the LiveFit site though, for your yummy, mouth watering viewing pleasure.

3-Bean Turkey Chili!

Cooking · Fitness

Chocolate Protein Bars

protein bars 006One of the perks of being the daughter of a librarian who helps with collection materials for the library is that my mother is constantly getting uncorrected proofs.  Whenever I visit my mom at work I race into her office just to see if she’s had a shipment – not always books I’m interested – but you’d be surprised.  I’m currently reading a new Amy Tan book, as well as a book based on the TV show Homeland that my mother had gotten.  It has unfortunately created an unnatural need within me to own the Trade Paperback version of any book rather than the Hardcover. I’m waiting on The Kite Runner to be returned so I can read that and the books that follow – I know, I know, I’m super late to that party.  I’m also looking forward to reading the Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane by Kelly Harms, once my library gets it in and processed.  Sarah Addison Allen is probably my favorite author lately, her magical realism really hits the sweet spot in my literature cravings…is that even a phrase – it is now!  Primarily writing about North Carolina, it’s instilled this magical vision of the South in my mind.

So in my research in keeping and maintaining my clean eating lifestyle I’ve discovered that any kind of store bought protein bar, while packed with protein is also packed with sugar – this is not as healthy as you’d assume after buying something from the health section.  So here are Jamie Eason’s homemade Chocolate ones.  They resemble a Brownie.  Which is amazing for easing cravings for something sweet! 2 Bars is one serving so you kind of feel like you’re indulging yourself.

protein bars 001
Chocolate Protein Bar Brownies!