The Comeback and the laziness of a Friday

March 1, 2013March 1, 2013 BessLeave a comment

This post is incredibly overdue.

It feels like it’s been weeks. Months. Years.

As I sit on this slightly chilly Friday in Upstate York, I am perfectly content. I have my Chai from one of my favorite places to eat here, First Cup. I also have a delicious breakfast sandwich on an everything bagel – which does nothing for my breath but everything for my soul. Music in my ears and snow falling gently outside, with my best friend sleeping in a curled up pile of shedding fur on my bed.

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted and so much has happened! I have no idea where I could even start. So let’s just address the biggest things and I’ll attempt to fill in all the rest later on in other posts and side stories.

Last August I got an iPhone which in itself is not all that important other than I’ve become an app fiend. Play me on Ruzzle! Dice with Buddies! Magic Piano! I found a calorie / workout app called MyFitnessPal that has since changed my life. I started keeping a food diary in mid August and while I haven’t done it every single day I’ve been brutally honest about portion sizes and overeating so I can learn. Since then I have lost 30 pounds. In January I decided to take it up a notch and got a Gym membership to Planet Fitness. I love it, nothing clears all the stress of work and a long distance relationship than planting yourself firmly on an elliptical trainer and just blasting music and “running” for an hour. I can already see noticeable changes! I’ve been trying to do my Zumba on days when I can’t make it to the gym. I’ve also been trying really hard to change my entire eating life style. I use Skim Milk or Almond Milk, whole grains instead of normal white or whole wheat, Vegetarian and vegan alternatives, smoothies, ect. It’s been going pretty good but every now and then I’ll have a “cheat” meal so I can stay on track and not get run off my health road by cravings.

I only have one downfall.

This Chai is like my crack. I’ve had three this week. Bad Nemmie.

I’m going to try and get back to my SuperFruit Green Tea by Good Earth to deter myself from slipping into the delicious silky smooth flavor of Oregon Chai.

This evening I’ll be experimenting with a Gluten Free Brown Rice Pasta and Almond Milk to make Mac and Cheese for dinner, I’m a bit nervous. I love my Mac and Cheese. I’ll cry if it tastes bad. Bawl even.

Work has been work. I’m looking forward to training in the Cash Office if I can ever get time to get in there and learn. I’ve been trying really hard since New Years to get Full Time status so I can get my own place and start working on making my Long Distance Romance a Not-so-Long-Distance one.

I’ve had some health problems lately. I was put on Trazadone for insomnia and it’s been working, it’s so wonderful to finally get some sleep. I was also diagnosed with an Ovarian Cyst last August and rechecked in November. Still there. My Birth control keeps her (I’ve named my cyst Francine, after four months of constant cramps and pain) at bay for the most part and keeps Francine from growing but as a naturally anxious person I have a lot of worries about just the fact that I have a Cyst and that there’s really nothing being done about it. I wish it was as easy as serving a body eviction notice. Get Out Ms. Cyst, don’t come back.

Progress Photo Time!

Time to get back to the real world and paying the rest of my months Bills.

Tata Lovelies,
Nemmie

Self-reflection

My lost companion

June 5, 2012June 29, 2012 BessLeave a comment

“Now that you’re gone, I hear a song
Sung to me ten angels strong…
it hurts to leave, but at least you’re free…”

Last Saturday I had to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in life. I had to take my cat to the vets to be put to sleep…I had to take my 16 year old cat Missy back in April for the same reason when her Mesothelioma made it impossible for her to eat. I remember adopting Snap and his brother Patch when I was in Kindergarten. My mom had them in the back of the car when she picked me up from school. Patch left us a while ago, but Snap was full of life to the end. He was still going up and down the stairs, jumping up on the bed as best as his arthritis would allow…but he wasn’t eating and he was starting to distance himself. I’m a pretty tearful person in general. I cry at the movies, I cry if I hear about something tragic happening. I cry far too easily and it’s something I know about myself. This is still tearing me apart inside. I expect to hear him behind me, or waiting for me when I come out of my room. 21 years I’ve had this cat. He was a part of my life for just about every one of them. My dog Sydney was kept away from him because she’s so big I was constantly worried she’d knock him down and trample him in her excitement at a possible playmate. Skeezix, my other cat seems so lonely now and I don’t know what to do for him. He’s petrified of Sydney, and scares at the slightest sound. I don’t know what more to say…I just needed to get that out.

Self-reflection

January 4, 2012

May 7, 2012May 8, 2012 BessLeave a comment

I remember leaving home to move to California, when I saw my father for the last time before my flight, he gave me this long bear hug. It was one of those hugs that had every pep-talk he’d ever given me, every comforting moment after something didn’t go my way, every possible dad moment all combined into one hug, just in case that was the last hug he’d ever give me. All of this was unspoken mind you, but it was one of those things you could just feel. Now that I’ve moved back home, but he’s moved away, whenever we part, we give each other one of those hugs. Just in case. You never realize how much distance can affect you and your relationships. In a lot of ways it brings you closer – makes you appreciate what time you have with somebody that much more. Sometimes it feels like you’ve drifted apart when really you just weren’t giving each other time to grow and become the person you’re meant to be.

Some of my most memorable moments in life have happened when I’ve taken a leap of faith and done something I never thought would work out. A magical night of carefree happiness in a Gone Surfing parking lot. Hot Cocoa and fresh doughnuts on Pier 39. Several tearful goodbyes at the Syracuse Transportation train platform that involved wishes on fluffs and pinky swears. A kiss under Niagara Falls, dancing the night away in a Danish disco, a night of cobblestone streets and roller skating in Montreal, and taking pictures of the Chicago skyline and exploring the magical qualities of Navy Pier at Night.

Now, I’m headed to Boston, MA, and I have no idea what the next couple days have in store, but I can already tell this is one of those trips that’s going to be filled with those types of moments and I can’t wait to see what comes next.